Homecoming: What is that to thee?
November 23, 2010
As the sun-calendar year 2010 begins to wind-down and the season of Thanksgiving is upon us, I can honestly say ‘Thank-You’ to a holy Elohim (G-d) who continues to reveal Himself and His ways despite my desire to do, even with the best of intentions, what I perceive as the correct thing. This year has been a bit of a roller-coaster as I left my job of 20 years in February, traveled to Israel on two separate month-long trips, and moved from Washington, D.C. to Texas. The move back to Texas has been the most enduring ‘shoulder-to-the-grindstone’ challenge as I came home to a grandmother who was nearing the end of her life and a brother who is nearing the end of life as he knows and understands it. In the case of my brother, I came with the willingness and what I believed Elohim-ordained responsibility to help him get back on his feet and lead a fulfilling life.
Five months later I stand physically, spiritually, and even financially exhausted having been obstructed, denied, and even at times what has seemed cursed in my desire to do “good” unto my brother. Having just returned last week from my second trip to Israel, I learned about something that occurred during my absence that essentially qualifies as “the last straw” in my desire to provide any kind of support or counsel. For all intents and purposes, this last straw has brought me to the end of my “good” intentions. This must have been what Elohim intended all along.
For the past several months I have been reflecting on why this problem is so intractable. I often considered that Elohim was humbling me for trying to bring about a result through my own strength, and that possibility cannot be discounted, but the more likely or primary reason was brought to my attention earlier this week. I received a phone call from Kelly McCullough, a friend and spiritual confidante, who is not only intimately aware of this problem but has been somewhat sucked into the quagmire along with a few other friends. I give praise and thanks to Elohim for my friends who have been such a support throughout this ordeal. Kelly, who reads Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” journal each morning, mentioned a recent entry that he thought applied to my situation. The entry below from “My Utmost for His Highest” was posted on November 15th:
John 21:21,2
“Lord, what shall this man do? . . What is that to thee? Follow thou Me.”
Chambers…
“One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people’s lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God’s order for others. You see a certain person suffering, and you say – He shall not suffer, and I will see that he does not. You put your hand straight in front of God’s permissive will to prevent it, and God says – “What is that to thee?” If there is stagnation spiritually, never allow it to go on, but get into God’s presence and find out the reason for it. Possibly you will find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another; proposing things you had no right to propose; advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit; your part is to be so rightly related to God that His discernment comes through you all the time for the blessing of another soul.
Most of us live on the borders of consciousness – consciously serving, consciously devoted to God. All this is immature, it is not the real life yet. The mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. When we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, there is another stage to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God.”
These words that Kelly shared from Oswald Chambers’ journal entry “What is that to Thee” rang true and penetrated my spirit. Immediately I realized that I had been interfering with Elohim’s (G-d’s) plans and purposes for my brother. I have now repented and removed myself from the equation. My brother’s life is in His hands and He doesn’t need my help. As I further reflect on this ordeal, I recall a saying by Mark Batterson, pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. Pastor Mark would often say, “Let God be as creative with others as He is with you.” I thought this to be a profound saying and it has stuck with me. But I always understood the saying in a “positive” light, that is, the creative part referred only to the actions that God might be doing through someone not what He might be doing to someone! This understanding is part of the journey of becoming a fully-orbed Believer in Yahshua HaMashiach (Jesus the Christ), and I’m especially thankful for this revelation during this season of Thanksgiving.
